Please Don’t Have Bullshit Regrets

“I never got to know him like I wanted to. I don’t know how I’m going to drive away from him.”

Whispers from a daughter crying at the side of her dead Dad during a private goodbye – it sounds heartbreaking. But I was quietly raging inside as she told me her story.

There are situations that understandably estrange you from another person. Trauma. Addiction. Betrayal.

But no demons kept this woman from her father. Only life. Being busy. Now she can’t leave his side in a crematory that is bone-cold as it snows on this sad, sad, maddening day.

What I thought: How dare you show up only when it’s too late! You are highjacking his loss with your guilt!

What I said: “Perhaps you can carry the love you have for your father forward, and invest it in other people. You can still love others like you wanted to love your Dad.”

Her response: “I don’t really have anyone in my life.”

Okay, compassionate Morgo out. I gave her some privacy, largely because I was steaming. It’s a terribly sad thing to have no one in your life, 100%, but someone has to open the gate. You can’t wait for love to happen to you all by itself. You gotta receive it and return it – like a thirsty flower going to seed.

A great mentor who happened to be my last boss always used to say, “Pain is the currency we pay for love.”

Lose the guarded heart. Let the pain open you, and you’ll never question a day in your life.